Monday, January 21, 2008
there's always a first for everything
4 cases today.

one DIB, one fall ( medical case ), one fall from height, and one collapse.

the last 2, the patients died.

one died in hospital.

the other was a DOA ( Death On Arrival ).

the fall from height case scared me. you could see how glazed his eyes were, how it seemed to be looking at something over my shoulder, yet looking at nothing at all. truth be told, you could almost see the life escaping from his eyes.

my senior medic had to ask me, " are you ok? " a few times when i kept quiet after the last 2 cases. in one day, i saw 2 people die. the DOA case made me very sad. you could see the relatives crying, and one family member actually fainted.

it's hard to separate work from the rest of my life. at home i can think and almost smell blood on my hands.

but i have to try and distance one from the other. if not, i think i could turn crazy. i have to try. some days it's hard, some days it's easy, cos ur way too damn tired to think about anything.

some days it's painful, when all your problems culminate into one big thing and hit you point blank.

during those days, i just feel like curling up into a ball and hide under my blanket.

there's this line that goes around;

the medic saves you, but who saves the medic?

who indeed?

i'm scared