Saturday, December 31, 2005
woah god
okay..to start this post..my dear cls friends..and non-friends..this wednesday..the coming wednesday lah ha..CLS soccer team is gonna versus EEE..we would really love your support..lol..so..details are.. 330 at fc5 the field..i mean, personally..seeing some familiar faces might just gimme a boost...

this past 2 weeks inter-cons has been in my head..which is a good thing arh..

the first match, against SP sports club..was a bloody fiasco..i mean, at the start alreddi, tze hao (captain)..said.."okay, lets keep the scoreline 3-0"..i was like..mampos..are they really that good..then i saw them arh..they had 4-5 players in the soccer ivp..been playing intercons together for 2 years and won it..and were damn good arh...we lost 5-0 sak..whar-f...the referee also bodoh mcm " the most bodoh-est thing"..shit..he always stayed on the half line sia..i mean..the ref is supposed to run around to see clearly...crap...there were 2 situations in which the ball was out of play already..tapi tak blow the whistle..me and wei you were like cursing alreaddy arh..haiz...

hmm, today at 2 pm had a frenly match..quite nice arh, seeing the team gel, haha..the score, 3-3..we could have won..i repeat again." WE COULD HAVE WON!"..tapi sueh arh..

next match is on wednesday..gonna give it all arh..CLS pe..people think cls peeps just study and dunno how to kick a ball..we'll show em...

heres' our positions:
andrew/jing bin

shaliz rohaizad ruzaini wen sheng/izwan

nasir/zaini farhan rashid wei you ben

yiwei/salleh/fadhli/junxiang

lolx..actually, theres a lot more arh..and i dint write the subs in..but the formation we're playing is a 4-5-1..from our first match we learnt that we have to strengthen the midfield arh..haf possession, can score..our defence is damn funny arh..zard and zai are tall , and me and izwan are like shorter..its like there are two poles to go thru then can shoot..hehe

pls support us this wednesday ya..haha..it would really mean a lot to me..and the team of course..tc..
 Monday, December 19, 2005
majlis kahwin..
yooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

had the best weekend ever yeah..hehehehe..okay, for the sake of my non-malay speaking friends..im gonna recount my ordeal in english..not singlish hor.. eenngleesh..but not that chim oso lah, later si beh hong kan..hehe.

kay, on friday after school, at around 445pm..after chemeng tutorial finished, i rushed down to jurong west, block 852..to prepar for paman ami and his wives' rewang..power sak..hehe..cos this is the first cross-race wedding in our family..hehe..okay okay, so reached jp at around 52o..took 243G and reached there lor..not many people at first so i asked around lah..my uncle asked me to set up tables and stuff so i did..hehe..the atikah, fatin and the rest came down to help lah..before this whole event rite, me and them weren't really that close..but after the whole event, we were talking like we known each other for ages..haha..some other things that were done, were potong syaur-sayuran, daging, help my mak ah.hehe..

after all the lauk was cooked..haha..er, oh yeah, me, them and my wak2, all rilek one corner and chit chat..til around 12..and oh boy, when my wak2 meet up, they really do have a good time seh..laugh like siao..hehe..hmm, then after that we went home lah, around 1am liddat..lolx, this is just part 1 ..i'll continue part 2 tmr ya, when i have the pictures..tc..
 Tuesday, December 13, 2005
new beginnings
hey..

after a week..i realised a few things

-im letting go..though i still have feelings for you, and have many more things to say..im letting go.maybe later i will tell you..but.i wish to move on..this is the best late-bday present i can give you.. im moving on.. i hope you're happy always.. you're starting a new chapter in your life..i dun wish to be a pain anymore..happy bday..never hated you, never will..maybe in the future, we can be frens again? who knows..

-my intensely irritating habit of being incredibly friggin careless has struck again..during Chemeng summore.. wat the EBS!.. PAB!..shit shit shit shit..

- my badminton skills have gone kaput..got thrashed by some guys who were two decades older..wat the man!

- due to medical reasons..hafta quit tkd..lolx..i got wat i aimed for..and Zain..haha..we can still be friends wat..yang masalah nyer is that your ass of a boyfriend is an incredibly jealous bugger..yes.. '' i don't like you, you treat her badly..and if you don't like wat i'm saying, then its not my problem..she should be treated better for gods' sake.."....*deep breath*...lolx, the only compensation is that..kalau kau tgh frust kepe, u can kick his ass..hehehehe..

-watched goblet of fire 4 times!!!!!!!!...wooohoo...here is my two cents worth..dumbledore seems too overly aggressive and panicky..the Death Eaters Rock!.. i wanna be one of em..or maybe i just want their uniforms..hehe " Mors'mordre!" ...and oh yeah..hermione..i love you.. ( tapie siti nurhaliza, jangan jealous kay..nanti next year kiter gi register kat ROM ) hehehe..

-the girl i saw at mcdonalds every single time is catching my eye..hehe..now i have a valid reason to buy mcflurry everyday..keke..i hope to get to know you better..insya'allah..

-inter-cons football competition is on the 23rd..which leaves just ngam2, seminggu to train..hope to play the starting 11..left back ke..insya'allah..CLS against..dunno who..

-yo marlon, happie bday! haha..thanks for sending me that irritating dragostea din tei..until now i cannot erase it from my head..18 liao arh..damn slow arh you..

-hope to work at where desmond and zard is working..im starting anew..so awrite jugak can earn your own pocket money..

-eh zad, eh, beli arh baju tu..yang "gua love minah", hehe..i noe you want it..

-been sleeping later and later..latest this week was ard 3am..and because of that..my headaches have come back..sorrie doc..will heed your advice.

-finished playing NFS: Most Wanted ( black ), Conflict:Global Storm and Genji...using the chevrolet cobalt ss..man..it drifts when i want it to..ouh sweet..razor sucks sak..

-fell in love with this jay chou song, "all the way north"..me and marlon keep singing it until siao..

-had my patience tested, and i passed..amin.."manusia boleh merancang, tapi tuhan sahaja yang boleh menentukan"..amin.

-if you love someone..don't assume..if you do not know..ask..

-i sound like patrick star..haiz...duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..hehehe
 Tuesday, December 06, 2005
its rough
it's rough.. i dunno how i can handle it anymore, but it's rough.. i dunno what to believe anymore.. i dunno what to feel, i dunno how to feel, i dunno how to cope, i dunno how to face people.. i dunno..

my heart is aching..but it's ironic..after all ive been thru, it surprising that i can still feel pain..i tot i lost it already.. hmm, in 2 years.. my ego is gone..self belief thrown out of the window, confidence shattered..happiness is controlled not by me..hope is gone..dihina, di maki, dikeji..

and yet i dun feel angry..cos i deserved all of it..aku pasrah, aku redha..my life, my problems, my pain..and no one elses'..

hey marlon, thanks bro for your support..i dunno wat elso to do now..watever happens, i'll just accept it any way i can..
 Monday, December 05, 2005
boys day out
hey, first of all, im very very very sorrie for leaving my blog to dry..its been so long without any posts and stuff, etc...kinda busy with stuff..i apologize..

many things happened in the past week..some i would like to keep to myself..some i would like to share..

hmm, had two tests lately..QAAS..got 17/20..syukur jugak arh...second test was ChemEng..i don't know how much i got.and frankly, i dun really want to know..i noe i sucked..end of story, goodbye ,the end..im hopeless..

had my tkd contest on saturday..i won 3rd place ya noe..am kinda proud..cos its gonna be my last foray into tkd..medical reasons..shit..sumthing happened at nite, during the celebrations, but that is for me to noe..for u guys to never find out..

then on sunday , me and zad went to expo to see the sports sale..wat a load of crap to tell the truth..so we decide to go to queensway..in the end bought a nice training kit..for running and playing soccer arh..cos inter-cons are in december and i may be playing..hope so..hafta practise..the shirt was damn nice..but it cost 40 bucks arh..duit ari raya hilang..bye bye..right now i think im gonna focus on sports and studies..considering that my personal life is spiralling into shitville..its always the same ah..

went i reached home at nite. i stumbled on sumthing..it hurt like hell..i tot i was prepared for this eventuality, but in the end..i wasnt.. i really dunno wat to do.i really am at a loss.. i really should haf expected it, shud haf seen the signs..should have steadied myself..should have made preparations..should have done something! for gods' sake..i dunno wat to do..i dunno.. i dunno.. i spent the whole nite muling it over..replaying the past over and over..wondering wat mistakes i did to cause all this to happen..wondering whether i deserved all this.wondering why i am on this path..i noe that im not one of gods' favorites, that i noe.but im just trying to repair the past.. " if u dwell on the past, you miss out on the future"..but " the actions of yesterday affect the outcome of today".. i felt like crying..felt like giving it up..felt like running far away to a place where problems are non existent..which is just a hopeless escapade..for everybody noes that there is no such place..

i dwelled on it for a long time..and yet i have found no answer..i feel so drained..wat more can i do?

" if shes' happy, then im okay".. now it just seems like an empty quote..wat about my happiness? does anybody care? i guess not..

i dunno how i can face tmr at school..its gonna hurt like hell..