Thursday, December 27, 2007

if marlon has stopped trying to be strong, then i'll stop pretending that everything's ok and that i can take it.

i can't elaborate how much it hurts. i really can't

even now more so, to see marlon like that, and me not being in the right frame of mind to give him comfort, when truth be told, i need some myself. desperately. im so sorry marlon.

anyway, had injection today. wasn't as scary as IV, but goddamnit it hurt like hell. the injection water causes the muscles to spasm and your whole arm burns up and hurts at every move you make. was so painful that my eyes watered with the very effort of trying to tahan the pain. the point of injection was ok, relatively painless, but when my buddy pushed the piston and the liquid in, i just could only clench my fists and grind my teeth.

didn't want to scream out like some of my other friends cos was afraid that i would be labelled a wuss.

it still hurts now, though the spasms have decreased.

another piece of sad news. yasin went for a check up on christmas eve and the doctor x-rayed his leg. turned out that he had a stress fracture at his metatarsal. he told me that it had been hurting since his BRT days but he kept quiet and soldiered on.

when the instructors found out about his latest injury, they recommended him to OOC or work as a clerk. seeing his face made me very sad. he was almost to the point of crying. i know he doesnt want to OOC. i don't want him to OOC. he's been such a marvellous friend and it would be a waste if he were to OOC with less than 2 weeks left in training.

made me scared too, cos i have my own physiotherapy session coming up. was supposed to be on the 27th, but had to postpone it due to training. hopefully the clinic will get back to me soon.

i don't want to get OOC too. once is enough. no more. if i have to lie and keep quiet about the seriousness of the injury, i will. screw my tilted patella or whatever crap. as long as i can walk, can run, can march, i'll shut up and take it as it is.

Sha