Monday, April 30, 2007
...
I hate losing.. nobody likes to lose.. but i can accept losing.. it's just life..and in sports, especially soccer.. you either win, lose or draw.. i can accept that. I am not a sore loser.

But what i hate, is losing to a fucking despicable team.

I admit, we were second best throughout the match. You were faster, had better control of the game, and you looked dangerous in front of goal. The scoreline reflected that.. 4-2.. i was prepared to say, "good game, you all did well".. but after that incident, i wouldn't have wanted to waste another second even looking at you, and wasting my breath to say "good game"

The match didn't even end properly.

How dare you treat my friends, my team-mates that way.. you treated them as if they were second rate..like as if we were school-children..like as if we could just as easily been swept aside.. You toyed with us..wasted time.. joked and teased my team-mates, who couldn't understand what you meant, but oh i heard. And i understood every word you said.

If i wasn't holding back Victor when you just hit out at his leg, i would have lunged at you too. You, who elbowed me in the sides when i was jumping for the ball. It hurts a hell lot, but it hurts even more, seeing how you treated my friends. You, and your despicable team-mates, who messed around with my friends.

Because of you, i lost it. I lost my temper. I screamed at my team-mates. I couldn't bear to see us get toyed around just like that.. and i screamed to tell you all to fight back..

I hate you, you fucking mats. You make me sick. Im glad i'm not like any of you.

But i hate myself too.. For actually being afraid to face you all. For actually being intimidated by the sight of you all.

Next time. I promise. I won't be afraid