Thursday, December 07, 2006
haiz
i don't know how to say it, but i guess it's not just me who's going thru an emo moment nowadays.. i guess this is how a 3rd year would feel..

u know, everytime i wave goodbye to my friends (loved ones), esp those whom im intensely close to..at that moment when we're going home, i feel so dead inside, like a piece of my heart chipping off.. when the train moves away from dover, i try to avoid looking at the decreasing size of SP.. cos i know..i don't think i can take it...

what im trying to say is, in a few more weeks, im going to graduate.. im going to leave 3 years, 3 of the best years of my life behind, and start anew.. the bonds ive created with people.. im going to miss them..

in my 1st year.. i miss playing badminton with zad,thomas and hong.. i miss being the stupid idiot that i was.. opening my eyes to what poly life to offer.. chasing after a girl.. serving the CYA every wednesday.. i missed going for taekwondo practise, where i only attained a blue belt..worrying more about what time school had to end rather than marks.. worrying about what options i wanted to go.. i missed waiting for douglas, clara, jen, sing lan and elaine at dover, b4 we headed off to school together.. i missed hating the DCP idol, where me and ser had to do that stupid cheer.. i miss every single one of them, and thats only what i can remember.

in my 2nd year. i miss making new friends, i missed adapting to new faces while trying to keep the bonds of old ones new.. i missed still chasing after the same girl til late december, where i realised that it was fruitless.i miss being awkward around her whenever we walked by each otehr. i missed playing soccer and losing terribly.. i missed going out with tom, hong and zad.. i missed being afraid of itp... i missed celebrating bdays.. i missed the chalet we had..i missed going to swensens for ptn..i missed worrying about fyp.. i missed studying for exams, where i suddenly realised the importance of gpa..

in my 3rd year..i missed going out in the first week to places such as admiralty and woodlands to try out newly discovered food places.. i missed the formation of the SHF..i missed meeting new people, like angela, kelly and wen.. i missed totally regretting not to join poly 50.. i missed realising sooner how much my fyp mates mean so much to me.. i missed the times shared during fyp..the good and the bad.. i missed the conversations and teasings we had in the secluded yellow room, where we had no one but each other. i missed the hard times we had, and how we overcame them. i missed admiring and respecting my fyp leader (i still do though)..i missed the times i spent in CLS club.. i missed playing soccer with the buddies, and meeting new people in the process. i missed doing practicals.. i missed running at the stadium.. i know im going to miss the bowling and pooling at spgg.. i miss going to different foodcourts.. i know im going to miss the kaya bread and half boiled eggs at fdct 4..i missed playing hide and seek at workshop 3. i miss teasing the teachers with, " u get me?, are you listening? hosticiser? carbon brack?" i missed listening to lewd jokes by the other guys.. i miss hacking into school comp for free printing, DOTA..etc...

nowadays, i promised myself to not be sad when i go to school, for a moment sad is a moment wasted...but im finding it hard to smile nowadays.. time is running out, and there's nothing i can do about it..

to my friends, the SHF, my FYP group..

i love you all.. i may not say it, but i really do..im going to miss every single moment... its very hard for me to smile at these moments, so when i smile to you, that is a sure guarantee of how much u mean to me..

esp to my FYP grp, Serrible and Teraldine.. it took me so long to bond and open up with u both.. i feel ashamed that i didnt take these 3 years to get to know you both better, for you both are awesome people.. people that i don't mind in the slightest to work again with..im sorry for being such a procastinator..

haiz.. i feel like crying when i write this entry, but i won't..if i do..telling mei to stop crying when she listens to "graduation" would not have the same effect...

so, i shall wipe the tears from my eyes, put my chin up, and smile..and spend every single moment with my friends, laughing and joking merrily..

love,
Sha